First, let me state, I had communicated via a dating website with "Jeff" for a few weeks. We emailed each other then moved to IM. It seemed fine. We had several things in common:
1. We both were transplants to the area.
2. We both liked a variety of music, movies, etc
3. We both had moved around quite a bit in our lives.
I decided that it wouldn't hurt to meet him so I agreed to go out with him when he asked me.
First thing about this date: I agreed to dinner and a movie.
I NEVER DO THIS NORMALLY. A good, first date is coffee or a cocktail. This way either party can end it easily. There is not long term time commitment for either of you if you realize that it is not a good match.
Any who, I foolishly agreed to dinner. Now, the red flags begin.
Red Flag 1 - I was picking a restaurant when he suggested that he wanted to go somewhere where he could use a coupon. Now look, I am all for a good deal but this is not impressive on a friggin' first date! DO NOT BRING UP COUPONS on the first date! We were going dutch treat any way so it was not like I was asking him to pay for it.
Red Flag 2 - He began to overshare almost instantly at dinner.
Red Flag 3 - He has been out of work for over two years. I know the economy is bad and I have struggled. However, "Jeff" seemed off about this in some way.
Red Flag 4- He was in severe credit card debt and revealed this to me on the FIRST date. I mean things happen but I don't need to know that per se.
Red Flag 5 - He not only was in debt and out of work but has also had a failed business. This put him in even further debt.
I definitely started to shut down after this bit of oversharing but after dinner, "Jeff" wanted to continue the date. I stupidly said yes and we headed to a movie.
Red Flag 6 - He commented on everything from the previews and some during the movie as well. PLEASE, I have not seen this movie, so please do not offer me a running commentary. I am not watching a baseball game on TV so please stop the running commentary!
Once again, I assume the date will end. No, "Jeff"wants to get a drink. What is wrong with me?I am too nice and go along with him to get a cocktail instead of just ending the evening at this point. (Maybe, I just needed a drink!!!)
More oversharing occurs:
Red Flag 7- He is checking out other guys on the date. I am hoping this means he is not interested so I never have to see him again.
Red Flag 8- He reveals he was in h is last relationship just be in a relationship. He doesn't like to be alone, he says, and needs someone to do things with all the time. I need an independent person who can do things with me and also apart. I also have issues with people who date just to date.
Red Flag 9 - He gives me a LONG detailed story about his DUI. Things happen but I didn't need to know all of this on the FIRST date.
Red Flag 10 - HE brings up the COUPON again!!!! He wants to use a coupon the next time we go out. (I am shocked by this and even more shocked he thinks this is a good enough date to warrant a second one!!!! What is wrong with this guy????)
We end the evening and I hope never to hear from him again. For three days, I hear nothing. I am relieved and then it happens...he messages me!
He tells me he had an amazing time and wants to see me again! Ummm, what is up with this guy? I want to grab him and say..."Bad Date, 'Jeff!!!' Bad, Bad Date!"
SO I have been really busy so we have not communicate, I am hoping he has gotten the picture if not I am fully prepared to let him down gently.
So Date #1, The Oversharing, Coupon Lover! Not a dream date...MOVING ALONG!!!!
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